Sunday, March 15, 2009 It's 2:11am now.
Yet I'm still wide awake...
Perhaps it's because of the afternoon nap I took.
Or is it because of the mental struggles I'm going through?
I don't know why.
I feel very empty...
My life everyday repeats itself as though it's a routine...
School, homework, eat, sleep.
Yes it's normal for a student.
But why have I became like this?
I told myself not to think too much from the beginning of this year, promising myself and everyone that there would be a brand new start.
But why am i contradicting myself right now?
Yes, I have accepted all the changes around me. They are inevitable.
You know, I know, everyone knows.
Haven't I forgot everything that were sad?
Yes, perhaps I did.
But I forgot things that were happy too.
Those memories were short-lived.
And I just can't seem to recall them..
because all the sadness is overwhelming.
Too much for me to take.
I swear I'm gonna break down one day.
No one knows when...
Whenever I told myself I actually don't bother about those things..
In actual fact. They mean alot to me.
Yes, they do...
I regret some of the decisions made in that most important part of my life.
And I can't change them.
But that emptiness feeling is really suffocating me.
I need a shoulder to rely on...
A hand to pull me in times of need...
A person whom I can cry to...
And a person who can give me happiness and security.
Yes, all these are too much to ask for.
Why does everyone else have that special person but I don't?
Or is it I don't realise it?
I don't know...
Cause all the sadness have covered and blocked my senses.
Where are you?
Just take it all away, cause I can never have yesterday...
Shwufang! was here @ 2:11 AM.